Categories
420-dating-de visitors

What does one say to “hey” aside from “hey,” or on a sunny day, “hey!

What does one say to “hey” aside from “hey,” or on a sunny day, “hey!

In many ways dating apps streamline so much about dating – you can select and filter who you want to see, it provides an opportunity for you to clarify for yourself and others what you’re looking for, and in an ideal world people can clarify before you even meet them whether they’re a top/bottom/someone who thinks mint and chocolate taste good together and therefore unfortunately not a viable option for you. However, there are some things dating apps cannot change – for instance, you are still going to need to speak to the other person if you wish to eventually have sex with them. It’s a hard knock life, etc.

Maybe the best way to psyche yourself up for this is through baby steps: “all you have to do is say hi!” This is true, and if that is what it takes for you to get yourself to message someone, you should absolutely do it! However, the truth is “hi” (or its variants, “hey” and a contextless gif) is kind of a tough sell; it doesn’t give the other person a lot to work with, and really kind of just moves the ball as far as initiating an actual conversation into the other person’s court. Much like how a bio should be written with the goal of giving a hottie something to react to, a first message should be easy to reply to and easy to move the conversation forward from! ” I ask of you.

Widely beloved first-messager and Autostraddle writer Molly told me her tried and true combo is “Hello + introduce yourself + compliment + ask a question,” noting that it projects self-confidence and also makes your interest in the other person clear, which are great goals for a first message.